Dear Fred Thompson,

Running for President was hard, wasn't it? I mean, all of that talking, and walking, and being nice to people and all of that. It's not the same as sitting on your front porch drinking lemonade, or fly fishing, or whatever real Americans do.

It's hard work!

I understand why you decided to drop out. You don't have your experience as a POW to draw from, or being the Mayor of 9/11, or the idea that Jesus came to America, and that the Native Americans are really Jewish. All that you had was the misguided belief that you were Reagan incarnate (maybe because you're an actor, too?).

But look at it this way. Now no one can say that you're running a worse campaign than that cousin-marrying Rudy Giuliani. And that's something.


Your Pal,

The Idea of Progress

Gettin' around

Ron Paul supporters have purchased a blimp for his campaign. The Idea of Progress took a look at what modes of transportation that the other Republican candidates are using:



Mitt Romney - Horse and buggy

Fred Thompson - Rascal scooter

Rudy Giuliani - Firetruck used in 9/11, because he was there, you know, on 9/11

Dear Fred Thompson,

Running for president is way tougher than it looks, isn't it?

Your friend,

The Idea of Progress


PS: It's called Russia now, not the Soviet Union. And just in case it comes up, there's only one Germany.