Republican Scandals

All of the lovely press coverage of the perils of Larry Craig have got me thinking. It seems to me that there are a lot of Republicans that have been indicted for either sex scandals or financial improprieties in the last few years. We have (of course) Senator Craig (R-ID), as well as Ted Stevens (R-AK) and Mark Foley (R-FL). There's many, many more out there, but all of the ones I hear about are just about always from Republicans.

Does this mean that Democrats are more honest? Do they just hide these things better? Do we only hear about the Republicans because the press has a liberal bias?

Who else should be on this list?

A Brief Word From Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho)

For the record, I am not gay. I've never been gay, I never was gay, and I'll never be gay. I don't go around anywhere hitting on men, and by God, if I did, I wouldn't do it in Boise, Idaho! Jiminy!.

Here's what really happened. I ate Taco Bell for Lunch. You ever eat Taco Bell? I had a chalupa, whatever the hell a chalupa is. I was in a hurry. I'm a very busy man, as you can quite imagine. The chalupa, and the hot sauce I unfortunately put on it, went through me like tax dollars through a Democrat's fingers (vote Romney!)


I went to the mens's room to, er... relieve myself. That's where a man goes to do his business! What a man does in the privacy of his own bathroom should be kept as confidential as our wiretapping records! The bathroom was full (the Taco Bell was, in fact, quite busy, which may or may not be a coincidence), and I waited for a moment for a stall. What happened next was described inaccurately by Keith Olbermann:



I was merely adjusting myself, and looking for the sports section, which I had carelessly dropped behind the bowl. Is that a crime? How could someone insinuate that tapping my foot was in any way an attempt to solicit a sex act?

My fellow Americans, This is a crime against me, and a crime against our great nation.

I'm not gay.