31 March 2008

Hillary In the House

After I read this article, I couldn't resist making this.

28 March 2008

Where is tIoP?

The answer? Around. He'll be back. He's just hiding from y'all.

Sometimes a Momentous Event Yields a Silly Headline

They fed them dumplings?

14 March 2008

Stolen Quote of the Day

"Just so we don't have to go through this whole resignation thing again," one ballsy reporter asked, "have you ever patronized a prostitute?" Paterson thought for a minute. "Only the lobbyists," he said.

-Soon to be New York Governor David Paterson

Stolen from Salon.

13 March 2008

12 March 2008

A Good Idea

I think Spitzer and Larry Craig should form a bi-partisan crime fighting superteam. Since Elliot has quit his job and all.

And I'm guessing Larry won't be reelected.

At least none of these sex scandals involved People's Sexiest Man Alive.

11 March 2008

Quote of the Day

"[Ben Stein, in the new pro-Creationist documentary Expelled] uses "straw man" tactics to attack, mainly The Origin of the Species, as Darwin wrote it in 1859. That's like a music critic reviewing "the latest" by only referring to Edison's wax cylinders."

-- Orlando Sentinel film critic Roger Moore, who while not being James Bond, did manage to sneak into a private screening he had been uninvited to, in his review of the film.

10 March 2008

Don't Let the Door Hit You on the Way Out!

MSNBC has cancelled Tucker Carlson's show, Tucker.

It's about time. Tucker is everything I hate in TV punditry-- ill informed, smarmy and mule-headed. He's not as bad as Sean Hannity (or even worse, Joe Scarborough) but as Monica says, he's a poo tissue. I can deal with a Reaganite (barely), but not when they're masquerading as a populist.

It was a matter of great satisfaction to see him get torn a new one by Jon Stewart on an infamous episode of Crossfire, Carlson's previous show.

Tucker, I hope you go back to whatever rock you crawled out from under.


Best of Craigslist

To the Neo-Nazi that hit on me on Monday - w4m
Reply to: pers-598591295@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-03-07, 12:02PM CST

You told me to google "14 words" and when I got to work, I did.

You are sick. If I had known who you were at the time, I would have punched you in the face.

Never. EVER. Talk to me again.

Location: Blue Line
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 598591295

Original post

05 March 2008

Uwe Boll vs. Steven Spielberg

I would call this David vs. Goliath, but really, it's more like one of the tripods from War of the Worlds vs...uh... Uwe Boll. In case you don't know who this Boll fellow is, he is a German director of what I might hesitantly call 'movies.' Most of his films are adaptations of video games. One was described on MSNBC as

"It’s asking for a lot to top a film where Sir Ben Kingsley (Academy Award for best actor in “Gandhi,” 1982) is the bad guy who wants to remove the Eyeball of Power that Kristanna Loken, a lady-vampire with no need for human blood, has somehow managed to absorb directly into her lady-vampire skull. And that’s just one part of the milkshake of insanity that is this movie’s plot. "

It's actually been rumored that Herr Boll's entire career has been nothing but a tax scam, some complicated scheme where he purposely makes terrible films and then somehow profits off of their loss, ie the Producers. He has actually challenged critics of his movie to a boxing match (and won!)

When Googling him before I wrote this, I actually found not only one site dedicated to the awfulness of the oeuvre of Uwe Boll, but a litney of them, including an online petition to prevent him from ever making movies again.


There's a little movie coming out on May 22, an installment in a film series about an archeologist named Henry Jones, Jr. ("Indiana was the dog's name!"). Uwe Boll ain't afraid of little Stevie Spielberg. To wit: a press release from Mr. Boll:

On the Indiana Jones weekend - May 23 - we will go out and destroy Indiana Jones in the Box Office! We all know that Harrison Ford is older as my grandpa and his time is up - would Michael Moore say! ... Spielberg gets sloppy. We saw that with War of the Worlds (why the fuck the older brother survived?) and also in parts of Jaws, E.T., Munich etc.! My performance in Postal as 'Nazi Theme Park Owner' outperforms easily Ben Kingsley in Schindler's List!

As a fan of the underdog, I would typically cheer on such a moronic idea. Except for the fact that I agree that Uwe Boll is about the worst director in the 111 years of cinema (maybe a close second to Michael Bay), and that I have been waiting for the new Indiana Jones movie for oh, 18 years.

Incidently, the petition has 18,068 signatures. 18,069, now that I have signed it.

Dear Mike,

First of all, I'm still here. I know I haven't posted in a while-- I've had some sort of mysterious ailment that seems to have subsided. Probably the flu. Who knows?

How are you? So, you finally decided to drop out of the presidential race, huh? That doesn't surprise me. What does is that you hadn't dropped out a while ago, back when it was determined that it was impossible for you to earn the nomination. But, as you said, you believe in miracles. I guess you just didn't get one. Maybe it's like saving up for later, when you'll really need it, like when you're running for president of the galaxy or something.

I have to admit, for a bible-thumping ultra-conservative right wing Republican, you seem like a pretty nice guy. It's not often that you come across people like that, especially when they're running for president, but you never really acted like a jerk, ever. You give bible-thumping ultra-conservative right wing Republicans a good name, which is a very difficult task to accomplish. So I commend you on that.

But the public's dismissal of you has a silver lining, for me at least. I actually figured you for the Republican nominee a couple of months ago. But the fact that John McCain is more popular goes to show how sick the American people are of Bush-era politics. Instead of the politically and religously conservative candidate, they go for the wild card, so to speak, someone who doesn't believe in the impending apocolypse, and who probably believes in evolution, and...uh... gravity and all of that. That's a positive sign.

It was nice knowing you, and I'm glad you pardoned Keith Richards after all of these years. Take care.

Your Pal,

The Idea of Progress