15 January 2008

Scientology in Tom Cruise's words

Like we didn't know he was crazy before...This was apparently leaked from a private Scientology event. Kudos to the hero who smuggled it out.

EDIT: The Scientologists work fast. They've already got the first video pulled ("due to a copyright claim by the Church of Scientology" according to YouTube). I'm going to repost it with a working copy, but if it goes down, please visit Gawker, who is hosting their own copy which they have said they are refusing to take down. Take that, Tom Cruise!

EDIT 2: I've had to repost this three times now, since the videos keep getting pulled-- again, if it doesn't work, check out the Gawker link

EDIT 3: That's at least five times I've changed videos!

EDIT 4: From one of the posted videos:

Scientology mini dictionary:
*KSW (short for Keeping Scientology Working): A policy written by
Hubbard in the 1960's that requires all Scientologists to follow his
words and his rules exactly.
"Orgs: Orgs is an abbreviation for "organizations" and describes
all churches of Scientology throughout the world.
*David Miscavige: He is the current leader of Scientology.
He's the equivalent of the Pope to the Catholics.
*Out-ethics: any behavior that violates any of Hubbard's
rules of conduct.
*Put ethics in on someone else: make others conform
to Hubbard's rules of behavior.
*Criminon: Scientology front group that tries to recruit through the prisons.
* SP: Suppressive Person. Anyone that doesn't like Scientology and/or criticizes Scientology.
*PTS/SP: another bogus Hubbard term to define behavior that goes
against Scientology rules.
*LRH technology or "tech": all the Scientology policies, rules, mandates, procedures


McGone said...

That apeshit crazy laugh of his has moved up to "Supervillain Hatches His Diabolical Plan" level with this video.

And Lalo Schifrin should sue him for playing that Mission Impossible theme as a trance-inducing subliminal tool.

Anonymous said...

I'll be signing in under a "fake" name as not to risk bodily harm when I say "What a freak".

Sign me -

Scared of those Suckers

Justin said...

Video has already been removed :(

Ms. Laaw-yuhr said...

Wow that is insane. I especially like that part about what a scientologist does when he/she sees an accident.

Makes me take those "free Katie" shirts a bit more seriously.

Evil Evil Genius said...

Was any of that in English? I have been in pure jargon business meetings that have made more sense than this!

Belinda said...

*Sigh*....and to think he was once the object of my teenage lust. Where has Maverick gone??

Although, do we make fun of Mr Cruise and Scientology only because we (well, me) don't understand it...not that this video helped any!

The Guv'ner said...

Hilarious. I saw it yesterday somewhere else. Tommy boy must be spitting venom right about now. He certainly seems to talk out of his ass leading to the question, Scientology forbids psychiatric drugs but they seem pretty hellbent on spiking their members kool aid judging by the nonsense Tom was spouting. Plus it's a little ironic that they hate psyche drugs when it's their members who need them more than anyone else! Pah.

The Guv'ner said...

I realize that wasn't a question but you see what I mean? :) DUH. Need coffee before talking sense.

rider said...

I wonder if this was suddenly leaked to the press by the dude who has Cruise's unauthorized biography coming out.

Blowing Shit Up With Gas said...

bummer... I'll check at home. At work, we can't view videos thanks to Mordac, our evil IT guy...

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Watch out for those Scientologists. If you end up dead suddenly we will know why!

Bubs said...

"Orgs are there to help"

Whew. Wackadoo.

pistols at dawn said...

Wow. Just...wow.

I mean, can you be any more insane? Like the "crazy aliens put evil in us" wasn't enough already.

Grant Miller said...

They played this on Howard Stern the other day.

Apeshit Batshit nuts.

Valerie said...

Does anyone out there actually know a Scientologist?

Just curious...

I'm with Belinda, I used to have the hugest crush on Tom Cruise. Now I just look at him with utter disdain.

Johnny Yen said...

He's batshit crazy.

My old roommate, the one who stole from me and had a meltdown, came from a family of recovering Scientologists. His parents met in the Scientology church, and escaped it together. He told me that the church tried for years to get him back in.

When I married Cynthia, my second wife, we got a friend of her family, who was an ordained minister, to do the ceremony. Right before we got married, we asked him what denomination-- it hadn't occurred to us to ask before. He was, he told us, a Scientologist. Yikes!

cindygal said...

These words out of the mouth of... a high school dropout. Ya - he makes a lot of sense! Jerkwad!

The Ambiguous Blob said...

I'm stealing SP and making it for people who disagree with me or try to put me in an insane asylum.