19 November 2007

BREAKING NEWS: McGone Releases Threatening Video


CHICAGO, IL (Reuters) Suspected JC Penny model McGone escaped from federal custody earlier today in where he was being held in an undisclosed location. Authorities believe that he is headed back to the heavily guarded International House of Blogcakes compound in rural Illinois.

In a video released to the press this afternoon by "readers" of his so-called "blog" McGone, clad in a floppy hat and with his face hidden behind a Guy Fawkes mask is viewed saying, "I will not sit idly by and watch The Idea of Progress Day go on as planned. This holiday has the potential to be the single greatest event in human history, and the iHob will never allow it to occur. I would speak in iambic pentameter, and may do in the future, but for now, I choose to speak in the manner of a James Bond villain! Death to the Idea of Progress!"

The Idea of Progress could not be reached for comment. The Idea of Progress Day is an international celebration that occurs annually on November 26th.

More on this story as it develops.


Monica said...

and then my birthday can get the attention it properly deserves...but then the sock puppet and interpretive dance piece would be for nothing. i'm so conflicted!

pistols at dawn said...

That guy seems about as dangerous as your average 15-year-old with a hearty interest in the drama club.