08 November 2007

The Idea of Progress Has the Answers You Seek

There's a reason that you are on the internet. You seek answers. You desire the truth. And the twisty path of the Blogonetosphere 2.0 has led you to the doorstep of The Idea of Progress.

What Came First, the Chicken or the Egg?

Pull up a chair and allow me to explain this to you. Would you like to take notes? Okay, I'll wait...no I don't have a ...oh, great, you have your own pen.


What came first, the chicken or the egg? This actually has an answer, and that answer is the egg.

See, the way evolution works is that a species undergoes genetic mutation, causing its offspring to demonstrate characteristics different from its mother or father. At some point, the species that was a genetic step behind the chicken became pregnant, and the egg it laid contained what would become what we think of as chicken, which differed in some small way from its mother.

Make sense?

In short, the genetic forerunner of the chicken laid an egg, which contained the first chicken.

Therefore, the egg is first.

I know. I just blew your mind.


Blowing Shit Up With Gas said...

I like this line of thinking. Yet, I think you're assuming that the genetic mutation toward chickenosity (that is to say, the point at which the animal in question became what we would describe as a chicken and not some unchickenlike genetic ancestor) took place within the egg stage. But it could also be that the critical mutation took place in the animal that laid that chicken-bearing egg. So, the question isn't: Which came first? The question is: At what stage, egg or live animal, did the critical genetic mutation occur? So, much as I like your argument, I'd have to still regard this particular mystery as unknowable.

The Idea Of Progress said...

Ah, a valid argument, and one I've already had today. However, The mutation that occurred in the protochicken would not alter that animal, it would merely alter its DNA in such a way that its offspring would be affected (i.e. it's not like Peter Parker being bitten by the radioactive spider mutated him into Spider-Man; in the real world it would be more like UV radiation damaged its chromosomes). Therefore the mutated animal would lay an egg, and within that egg would be the first real chicken. Therefore, the egg comes first.

Blowing Shit Up With Gas said...

Interesting stuff! I guess I got a little caught up in the borderline philosophical question: If a protochicken's DNA is such that it would produce a full-chicken offspring, does that not render the protochicken, in effect, an actual chicken? Sometimes I overthink these things... I think you're argument stands up to scientific scrutiny. Congratulations! Do you suppose that the protochicken also tasted like chicken?

The Idea Of Progress said...

I feel the protochicken would be just that, a protochicken with damaged DNA, which is not the same as an actual chicken. Its offspring would be the first real chicken.

By the way, wouldn't Protochicken be a great band name?

Anonymous said...

You're a genius. But you knew that didn't you.

Leonesse said...

See that, that is a mind gone blown.

Grant Miller said...

What's the sound of one hand clapping?

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

I must have clicked here by accident I was looking for discount handbags. My bad.

pistols at dawn said...

You said 'laid!' SWEET, bro!

The Guv'ner said...

But who is responsible for the cock?

I thought eggs were chocolate and a bunny brought them at Easter?