31 July 2007

Famous and Popular Bands and Musicians That I Don't Like That Everyone Else Does (Part I)

*denotes possible violence against band/musician

Prince I get that he plays 4,968 instruments. I understand that he is incredibly prolific, innovative, and is great to dance to. But I hate his tinny drums, his whiny voice, his Casio keyboards and most of all his quote unquote dirty sexy lyrics. And the fact that he insists on spelling "to" with a "2."

U2* My most hated band, led by my most hated frontman. He must have done something good in a past life to have died and come back as Jesus Christ. Plus, they could have Brian Eno as a producer, and still suck. With Bono's histronic singing, the Edge's monotonous guitar work, and their misguided belief that 'catorce' follows 'tres," I am always surprised how much credit critics and fans give them. And their names? What the fuck is with their pseudonyms? Is Bono a Sonny and Cher fan? Is the Edge supposed to be tough?

The Police*Speaking of pseudonyms, should we be frightened of Sting? Is that supposed to be a scaaaaary name?

Guns'n'Roses I've never really been into any of that hair metal crap (although with all honesty, I did have a Def Lepard period in junior high), and most of my peers that listen it now do so ironically, barring those people in New Jersey or Peoria. But G'N'R is that one band that everyone seemed to think rode above the pack, and was worthy of artistic praise as well. Yawn. I actually prefer Velvet Revolver, mostly because I don't hate Scott Weiland's voice like I do the caterwauling of Axl Rose (another pseudonym...I'm seeing a pattern here that never occurred to me before).

The Eagles I've rarely had more sympathy for a movie character as I had for the Dude in The Big Lebowski when he leaves the Malibu police station after being beaten by the sheriff, only to be stuck in a cab playing the Eagles. Ugh. Music for people who are afraid that they might be challenged.


katarose said...

should we be frightened of Sting? Is that supposed to be a scary name?

perhaps to those averse to bees and wasps. I'm just sayin'...

I really do need to watch The Big Lebowski, don't I?

Catherinette Singleton said...

Behold!! Someone else that doesn't understand the allure of U2. They suck. I'm right there with you. The second I hear a song of theirs come on the radio, I have to change the station. Same things goes with AC/DC.

Cipher Theory said...

Prince = Brilliant

U2... You should have mentioned that they spell "too" with a "2". They suck... I hate them. O-ver-rated clap clap clap-clap-clap.

Police... some brilliant stuff. Driven to Tears, Walking on the Moon, Invisible Sun... good stuff. Sting solo, though? Blurp... Especially when he was in A.S.S. (Bryan Adams, Rod Stewart, and Sting doing shit songs)

I am a Guns'n'Roses apologist, even though some of their lyrics really irk me with their mysogonistic and hateful ways, but I can't deny the glory of Estranged, Civil War and Don't Cry... just to name a few. The Paradise City crap doesn't do much for me, though.

The Eagles... The Dude said it best, and I couldn't agree more. And yeah, that person above really needs to see Lebowski.

Grant Miller said...

I'm with you on U2, GnR, and the Eagles. I can stomach all of them - I even own a few U2 albums.

The Police. I hate Sting. Hate Sting. Hate. Hate. Hate.

But they were like the first band I liked. And he can write a catchy song. And Stewart Copeland is an amazing drummer.

Prince. Another of my early music loves. He's a great guitarist, but he hasn't written a song I've really liked in about 30 years. But his early stuff is so good, I give him a pass.

Belinda said...

Well.....I quite fancy all of them - except for The Eagles. Do you not like ANY of these bands' music? Like NOTHING at all???

The Police are playing in Australia early 2008. I should go and see them in your honour ;o)