BREAKING NEWS- MCGONE ESCAPES!

Associated Press

CHICAGO, Illinois- (AP)
Maverick billionaire and suspected inventor of Head On,"Fancy Pants" McGone has escaped from the holding cell where he was currently awaiting trial, charged with assault with deadly puns and second-degree illustration. Although authorities will not comment on where the proprietor of the International House of Blogcakes was being held or the manner of his escape, they warn that he is armed with a laptop and to be considered extremely dangerous.

More on this breaking story as it happens.