DEATH EATERS ATTACK BROOKLYN--Department of Magical Enforcement encourages residents not to worry

Associated Press
by Jeremy Copplepot
Special to the Associated Press

BROOKLYN, NY--A battle between Death Eaters and agents from the Department of Magical Enforcement have left 6 injured and dozens of wizarding families displaced in the Bay Ridge area of Brooklyn on Wednesday. Department spokesperson Bertha Billingsray issued a statement early Thursday morning, assuring local wizarding families that "...the situation has been contained. All hostile elements have been removed from Brooklyn, and the Department of Magical Enforcement has agents working around the clock to insure that the area remains safe and all perpetrators will be brought to justice."


A Muggle "video" captures some of the battle Wednesday morning.

The Department obfuscated all traces of the battle, creating the appearance of a freak tornado strike in Brooklyn. When asked about the wisdom of relying on what appears to be a tornado in a region that has never seen one, the Department refused to comment. Local witch Sherry Cattermole, surveying the destruction, observed,"I don't know how the Muggles are going to believe this was a tornado. They could have at least said it was a gas main explosion or something realistic."

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In related news, authorities are still searching for the ogres responsible for the destruction of a Muggle bridge in Minnesota.