25 September 2007

Notable Persons of the Week

Here at the Idea of Progress, we like to salute excellence, bravery, and daring. In that spirit, I present you with The Idea Of Progress's Notable Persons of the Week!

Star Simpson: Arrested in Boston for walking into an airport with a circuit board and wiring strapped to her chest, carrying Play-Doh. After avoiding being shot by airport police by following orders, Ms. Simpson stated that she was wearing art, and wanted to display it. For bravery and dedication to her craft, Ms. Simpson is hearby declared: NOTABLE!

The Dedicated Traveler: A 15 yea old Russian boy fell out of a wheel well of a plan that flew from Perm to Moscow, a two hour trip. He was so frozen that authorities had difficulty removing his coat. He is being treated for severe frostbite in a Moscow hospital. Early reports had stated that he had ridden on the wing of the plane. No word if John Lithgow was watching him from the inside. For perseverance to cheap airfare, The Dedicated Traveler is declared NOTABLE!

He Who Doesn't Check His Work: The White House slipped up (again) this week by accidently releasing Dubya's speech to the UN in the original format. That is, the format he read it, viewed on a teleprompter. Apparently Dubya can't pronounce certain things.

Pronunciations for President Bush's friend French President Sarkozy "[sar-KOzee]" appeared in draft #20 on the UN website. Other pronunciations included the Mugabe "[moo-GAHbee] regime" and pronunciations for countries "Kyrgyzstan [KEYRgeez-stan]" and "Mauritania [moor-EH-tain-ee-a]." Someone didn't look before submitting it to the public.
For his fearless efforts in not checking twice, He Who Doesn't Check His Work is declared NOTABLE!

3 comments:

pistols at dawn said...

Checking it twice? Hell, I'm happy if they check it once.

Laaw-yuhr said...

Makes you realize just how much handling old W really needs.

The Ambiguous Blob said...

Uhhh... I'm still thinking about ben stiller being peed on in a close-up. Get it out of my head!!!