09 October 2007

Coors and Miller to Merge: No Wonder All of Their Beers Taste Alike


Monopoly? What's a monopoly? Two of the three largest beer companies in the US (the third is Anheuser-Busch), Molson Coors and SAB MIller plan to merge companies, creating a single entity called Miller Coors (I guess since Miller makes more money, they get to come first). Are beer sales really flagging in this country? When everything goes down the shitter (um...war, unemployment, enviromental meltdowns, a sequel to National Treasure), you'd think that the one constant would be beer consumption. Unless the right wing groups that Coors supports are making it hard on them. That's what happens when you cater to conservative Christians--No drinkin' or dancin'!

In any case, if all of their crappy beer tasted alike before, just think of the possibilities now!

10 comments:

Blowing Shit Up With Gas said...

So, you were in the "less filling" camp, eh (as opposed to the "tastes great" one)?

pistols at dawn said...

(Grant) Miller always comes first. It's always disappointing, and though he always promises he'll "get you tomorrow," he never does.

The Ambiguous Blob said...

beer tastes like piss. not that I've ever tried piss, but I can imagine.

Laaw-yuhr said...

This is why gin is the only way to fly.

Johnny Yen said...

Why? Because Miller Lite and Coors didn't already suck enough.

kerrin said...

all of the BIG beer company's in america make crap for beer... it's because they use corn sugar (which has no taste) to make the beer. originally they did this to save on the cost of making beer (corn sugar costs less then barley)... but now because we must put ethanol, which is made out of corn, in our gas; the cost of corn has gone up with the nation wide demand for more corn. so these BIG beer companies had a choice: raise the price of their crappy product or merge to reduce their costs. ha ha! real craft brew is the only way to go!

Grant Miller said...

I'm the heir to the vast Miller Brewing fortune. Or, as I like to look at it, they are the heir to the vast Grant Miller Media fortune.

Bubs said...

Ah, not to worry. There are so many good beers out there now, even in backwards-ass towns in the hinterlands, that you don't need to care what Miller, Busch or Coors do.

Besides, there's always hard liquor.

Leonesse said...

Isn't that like 'tetched cousins marrying? I am afraid of what taste is gonna come out of that copulation.

red said...

Vodka, darlings. Vodka. And remember, mixers are for wimps!