This is a friendly reminder from the Idea of Progress on activities that may be unwise during this Halloween season:
-The wearing of blackface makeup is not an appropriate Halloween costume.
-The wearing of whiteface makeup (in the manner of the major motion picture White Chicks) really isn't that funny either, although for entirely different reasons.
-The smashing of pumpkins is not advised, unless you intend on smashing Billy Corgan, which is suggested.
-Jello shots are to be used as a last option, only.
-When looking for a Halloween song to play at your party, "Every Day is Halloween" by Ministry is no longer a viable option, due to the somewhat unsavory nature of the group. May I suggest some Celine Dion or Nickleback?
-When preparing poison and/or razor blade embedded candies for trick or treaters, please remember to use brand name candy. Children simply will not eat an apple or generic sweet, and all of your labor will have been in vain.