04 October 2007

Two Stories, Plus Advice

I want to thank everybody for their support over the last week. I'm back from Pittsburgh, and will soon resume writing the usual action-packed blogs you so eagerly seek. I'm gratified to hear so many people actually went out and did a nice thing and thought of my grandfather. I'm sure he would have appreciated that.

To cap off this week's non-posting, two stories about my grandfather I heard this week. Both involve food. Apparently he ate with great gusto when he was a younger man, although I never knew him to have anything but a normal consumption of food.

-Sam would occasionally eat a banana that he had placed in a hot dog bun. He would also put mustard on this concoction.

-Once, he mistook a box of Bugles for cereal. He poured himself a bowlful, added sugar and milk, and ate the whole thing. When confronted about the odd choice for breakfast, he admitted that the cereal was a little salty.







It was my first experience at a funeral, and won't be my last, but to those of you who will be attending one, allow me to give you this piece of advice: Bring a cheerful baby. My sister brought her nine-month old daughter along, a little girl who does little but laugh and smile, and every time there was either an emotional moment, or a dull moment, or an awkward one, she would gurgle and coo and throw an object at a mourner, and that would break the tension of the moment. It made things a lot easier, let me tell you.

14 comments:

Belinda said...

Hahahaha....they're nice stories and I must say, I quite like banana sandwiches - minus the mustard though :o)

Hope you're feeling a little happier today.

Laaw-yuhr said...

Good to have you back.

pezda said...

I eat bananas in buns, though I slather mine in peanut butter

McGone said...

I will be making neither my lunch choice today.

Welcome back.

pistols at dawn said...

Quick tip: if you try throwing things at mourners as a grown-ass man, it is not considered "cute."

When my grandfather passed years ago, we also got tons of funny food stories. My favorite involved him buying numerous spray cans of Cheez Whiz and emptying them out into kitchen cabinets, like that was a better storage option.

That story (and imagining my stepgrandma opening said cabinets) will always make me laugh.

yllwdaisies said...

Babies are great. I'm glad you're back.

It's also nice that your lil niece will one day hear this story.

Grant Miller said...

Babies have a way of doing that. Same with guide dogs.

Johnny Yen said...

Great advice!

Your stories reminded me of my grandmother's funeral in March of 1997. I knew little of her-- she was always very quiet around me. I discovered that she loved to play bridge with her friends, and that she was a big cut-up with them.

She grew up on a farm in Michigan and was apparently quite stoic. We discovered that when she was young, she hit an ice patch on a road and nearly rolled her car, driving it into a ditch. She calmly drove the car out of the ditch and drove away.

Johnny Yen said...

Oops, that was March of 1998. She and my grandfather, died three weeks apart. The day of my grandfather's funeral would have been their 64th anniversary.

katarose said...

welcome back--what is it with grandfathers and bananas anyway?

Valerie said...

Welcome back.

Now I've got a hankering for Bugles. I like to put one on each finger and eat them one at a time off each finger.

Blowing Shit Up With Gas said...

Very, very strange food stories.

thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

Wait a minute... you mean Bugles aren't for breakfast?

The Ambiguous Blob said...

I don't like funerals. I guess it's the whole thing about losing someone close to you that does it.
Perhaps the happy baby trick will work next time- thanks for the tip.