16 October 2007

I'm Going to be Rich!


Dear, I am in need of your assistance. My name is Sgt Justin Harris. I am in the Engineering military unit here in Ba'qubah in Iraq, we have about US$25 Million US dollars that we want to move out of the country. My partners and I need a good partner someone we can trust. It is oil money and legal. We are
moving it through diplomatic means, to send it to your house directly or a bank of your choice using diplomatic courier service they can ship it directly to you in your place, door to door delivery. The most important thing is that can we trust you? Once the funds get to you, you take your 50% out and keep our own 50%. Your own part of this deal is to find a safe place where the funds can be sent to. Our own part is sending it to you. If you are interested i will furnish you with more details. But the whole process is simple and we must keep a low profile at all times.Can i trust you and will you help? Send me an email with your positive reply and i will send you more details and the plan. Dont worry it is risk free. Waiting for your
urgent response. Your Army in Iraq. Sgt Justin Harris

justinharris01@swarmail.com


Dear Sgt. Harris,

First, let me tell you that I'm flattered that you call me 'dear.' I mean, we hardly know each other. Also, I'm not into dudes, so let's keep this on a professional level.

Let me congratulate you on your good fortune. Stationed as an officer in Iraq, and you've managed to make $25 million in oil? Legally? That's amazing! Are all engineers this smart?

So, let me get this straight. You want to ship me $25 million? Do you know how heavy that would be? You'd have to send it in a pallet, I think, and customs would definitely look into that. I think it'd make more sense to transfer it to a Swiss account, but then again, you're the engineer!

Of course you can trust me. Isn't that why you sent me this unsolicited email? You could trust me to retrieve it from the junk folder, why not trust me with your money?

And finally, I appreciate you assurance that this is a risk-free proposition. I'm not a risk-taker by nature, but if I can't trust a member of our armed forces, what assurances could possibly convince me?

I'm in.

Let me know how I can help.


Your Pal,

The Idea of Progress

13 comments:

The Guv'ner said...

It actually boggles my mind to the point of meltdown that people actually DO fall for these things, for real. I mean...what sort of home made narcotic substance are people snorting to see that and think, "Wow, that sounds like a plausible and great deal?" I mean, I've drank enough tequila to sink the biggest ship on Earth and I wouldn't think twice about that (although I'd probably offer the guy at least a make-out session). Are people retarded?

Leonesse said...

I have this bridge in Fallujah I have to sell. Cheap.

Bert said...

This is what's so great about Humankind, that we can dream so big!

Or is it that there are people so desperate that . . .

Evil Genius said...

You should never have posted his e-mail address! I am so going to jump you on this and grab all that mad oil cash! SUCKER!

Ms. Laaw-yuhr said...

Is this how you became a billionaire playboy?

Beth said...

Hey, I got that e-mail, too! Does this mean we're partners? I'm pretty selfish when it comes to ill-gotten gains and spam scans.

Bubs said...

It will be interesting to see how this American GI explains routing the money through Canada and Nigeria.

Blowing Shit Up With Gas said...

Finally those pseky Nigerians have put a little creativity into their pursuits.

McGone said...

I think you can trust him, based on his poor grammar and uncapitalized "i" every now and then, this had to have been written by a real person. Congratulations!

The Ambiguous Blob said...

My poor 80- something year old gramma fell for something like this- she sent 6k to El Salvador, never to be seen again.
Poor naive people fall for this crap all the time.

thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

You're so lucky this opportunity stumbled into your inbox. I'd pounce on it, if I were you!

pistols at dawn said...

Finally, it's your chance to support our troops.

slinger said...

I like how a US soldier states that he has "US $25 Million US dollars" you know, as not to confuse it with the other US currency.